Sunday, 10 May 2015

My Favourite Quote

 
 
This quote court my eye because it is so true, the mean things we say to ourselves like I'm ugly, I have huge thighs, yes that's just a couple I say to myself  I would never say to anyone else as it is horrible, rude and bullying yet I think its OK to say to myself?
 
 
I'd never thought of it as bullying before but its self bullying because what do bullies do they put you down, make you feel worthless, point out all your flaws, we don't need a bully when we are doing this to ourselves everyday, tearing ourselves apart little by little till we have no confidence and just self hate.
 
When you are looking at your self in future and you are making comments in your head about how you look ask yourself would I make those comments to another woman your mother, sister, friend if you wouldn't why is it OK to say it to yourselves?
 
Be kinder to your selves, chose the words you call yourself carefully because as we know sticks and stone may break my bones but words will scar you deep enough if you don't chose them wisely.
I may not be perfect, I have my flaws but they are what make me me and I love me for that.  
 
what do you love about yourself?
 
Peanut xx
 

Clothing, Shoes and Accessorie Haul

 
when it comes to jeans I always stick to my trusted low rise skinny jeans, though I have seen so many really pretty cropped tops and as Im now getting a little older cough cough 29 years old I didn't think I should be getting all my belly out so bought my first pair of high waisted jeans www.newlook.co.uk £22.99
 
I love this shirt from www.select.co.uk £11.99 it is simple dress up dress down wear with jeans and sandals it is a gorgeous khaki colour with a v- neck front
 
 
I have such tinny ear lobs a little fun fact about me I find it hard to find earrings small enough and these from www/newlook.co.uk are perfect plus it has a ear cuff type earring which I love

 It's still a little chilly here in the UK, we did have a couple of beautifully hot weeks but it soon returned to the drab UK weather so I bought this sweater from Primark on sale for £5 it is cropped but can be layered with a Camisole I love the lace embroidery on the bottom.



I walk everywhere so I need a good pair of flats and these do the job, they a were £12 from F&F art Tesco's they are so comfortable and look great with any thing they are staple footwear.
I thought I would go nautical with these, they were a bargain at £4 from Primark and they will look great with a jeans a simple t- shirt just the relaxed style I like over the summer.
Newlook has some beautiful dresses in for summer the two dress on the outside were only £12.99 each perfect for a summer day in the park out with family and the middle strip is £24.99 its a thick cotton fabric great quality will look great with heels or flats for day and night.


Lastly I bought this top in the teenage section of Newlook I promise I'm not been sponsored my Newlook I get student discount plus I am loving the store at the moment I loved the print the blue/ green tile pattern it adds a bit of colour to my wardrobe

Peanut xx

Summer Pastels


 
Barry M gelly high shine polish
 Elderberry, Rose hip, Huckleberry, Prickly pear
 
 
when the sun starts to shine I cant wait to use my spring shades of polishes. The polishes  are fresh, clean, and pretty  I went and bought these polishes of Barry M, they last the pigment of colour is amazing I cant wait to buy more.
 
 This is Elderberry after 2 coats

Saturday, 2 May 2015

The Story Of Us By Dani Atkins







The story of us is a beautifully written tug of the heart love triangle book based on the lead female character Emma Marshall, who's life is turned upside down when she is involved in a car accident on the night of her hen do, with her two best childhood friends Amy and Caro (Caroline).

She was set to marry her childhood sweet heart Richard until on the night of the accident when a dark hair, tanned American man called Jack Monroe saved he. After the event nothing was ever the same again.
Before the accident Amy was feeling sick so unbuckled her seat belt to throw up when the impact happened she was flung threw the windscreen leaving disastrous inflictions which she never recovered from.
Caro was OK physically but mentally she wasn't the same for a long time she used to be the strong one but blamed herself for the accident as she was driving. it wasn't her fault, in fact if she didn't get out of the car that was stuck in the cavernous ditch then Jack wouldn't have stopped and saved Emma, and she was the one who found Amy giving her that little bit of hope she will be OK but sadly that wasn't to be.

When someone saves your life you have this connection with them with Emma and Jack they had this force that pulled them like a stretchy cord bringing them back together. on the night of the accident Jack was calming, had  good banter with Emma even in the not so great circumstances. he was strong pulling Emma's legs from under the cars seat after they got wedged my the metal bars cutting his own arm as he did it.  he stayed with her in the hospital until Richard got there he wasn't happy with this new American guy even though he did save Emma's life, jealousy struck and a little I  wish I had saved my wife to be.

They got the news that Amy had passed away Emma distraught but too numb to show it until Jack came back to the hospital  after hearing Amy hadn't  made it, she broke down in those strong arms that he had earlier in the night had saved her life.

Emma had moved away when she was 18 to go to university,  then working in London and Washington USA, she loved her marketing job and though she came back to help her mum who is sick she just stepped back into her old 18 year old self life. she was working in the book shop she did in high school dating her old school sweet heart now set to marry him, this accident questioned what she really wanted.

After a hard day visiting Amy's parents and going threw her apartment to look for funereal clothes she found a beautiful dress in the pocket was a number of Richards work, she thought nothing of it as she had previously tried to set her put with one of  Richards work friends. after a long emotional day she arrived home to beautiful flowers she thought were from Richard but were from jack for condolence of Amy, obviously Richard wasn't happy that Jack was still contacting Emma but it put a smile on Emma's face that he sent them.

The day arrived to say good bye to Amy, Richard who was never one to show emotions was hit hard by Amy's death, he couldn't hold it together and then as Emma looked around to see all those who came to pay their respects the dark haired American was stood at the back of the church. after the service Emma thanked him not thinking she would see him there but he had bumped into Caro and she had mentioned it to him. she was always happy to see him and had a lump in her throat when she talked to him, she could never repay him for saving her life she didn't know if the connection they had was one of gratitude and the fact he saved her life she read all about relationships with people who saved your life and  it was normal to feel a connection or if she truly liked him.

As Richard wasn't dealing with Amy's death Emma told him to go on a school trip skiing, Emma went back to work with her kooky French boss Monique the only person In her life who didn't think she and Richard belonged together. Emma was busy working and had an unexpected visitor in came her handsome Jack Monroe. he had been staying in the UK to do research for a thriller book he was writing and wanted a book on lakes. Emma found him one and he offered to take her to lunch, even though he'd already done enough by saving her life he was eager to spend more time in her company.

He and Emma went of town to stop tongues wagging, she and Richard had postponed their wedding out of respect and didn't want people asking who this stranger she was with when she was meant to be getting married. she got on so well  Jack if grazed her arm Emma would get butterflies he made her feel a way no one had ever done before.
On the drive back Emma noticed Jack had a pile of books on the back seat of the car, he had gone to the 3 other book stores looking for her when after she told him at the hospital she worked in one buying the same book. Emma made him laugh with her comment that why didn't he just buy a different book? Jack loved Emma's sense of humour none had made him laugh like she made him in a long time.

They arrange to meet up again as he wanted to go to a lake that was in one of the books to do some research. they were talking and he didn't understand one thing about what Amy said that night on the dark tarmac road, when Amy said I'm sorry Emma and thank you for forgiving me. later as Emma was re-running what he had said about that night things started to click into place Amy was having an affair with Richard there was the number in her dress her saying sorry there was just something in the pit of her stomach.
Contacting Caro to see if she new anything of her best friends betrayal they had talked before in a round about way and Emma could tell she was hiding something, so when she asked her out right and she said she didn't no but had suspected Emma felt betrayed by her other best friend. Caro didn't want to tell her as she new she would be heartbroken but she didn't have any evidence either so decided to let it lye.

Unable to talk to Caro Emma remembered the where abouts of Jack's rental home, though not the exact house but it didn't take her long to find it was a small place after all. Jack hadn't opened up about his life, he was always playing his cards close to his chest you could tell he was holding something  back. Emma was then surprised when he told her that his ex wife cheated on him with his best friend he hadn't been in a committed relationship in the following years to scared to get hurt. he told her you don't have enough proof let him explain so the next day when Richard returned from skiing she took him to a secluded place and asked him he confessed straight away she threw his ring and left him.

Caro had a massive break down Richard called Emma who ignored his calls until she new it was about her, she was sobbing clutching Amy's head stone wanting to planting flowers Emma felt bad that she pushed her friend away she knew it wasn't her fault she didn't tell her she didn't no for sure and she was protecting her after that day she began to rebuild her life.

Arranging to go to the lake again even though he could find it by himself he asked Emma he  had told her of his feelings for her but wouldn't do anything about them as he new that no matter what had happened with Richard she still believe in happy ever after, marriage and having children which for him wasn't an option after he was so badly hurt. they stopped off At a local pub sat next to an in love old married couple, Emma couldn't stop feeling the way she did about Jack but she knew it didn't matter what she said he wouldn't change his feelings.
after dinner they took a walk around the back of the pub that felt so sucluded that with the trees moving in the breeze, it lead to a old bridge with out either saying they walked to the middle taking in the moment of being with him and the beautiful surroundings,  before she new it Jack was in front of her with his lips on hers Emma had wanted this for so long jack pulled away it thought it was the wrong thing to do as he new Emma had fallen for him and he her but they just wanted totally different things out of life and each other.
It was an awkward ride home Emma pretending to sleep Jack going along with it was this really going to be their stories ending.

a few days later Emma had an unexpected phone call she didn't expect to get a call from him asking her if toad in the whole had actual toad in it as he was fasincated with the names we britsh give to our food. she said no jack it isn't a toad it was also his really bad way of getting to see her again so he leaped at the chance to see her when she offered to cook it for him.
she turned up at his door the following Saturday ingredients in hand not knowing what to expect was he going to mention the kiss? he answers the door but was in the middle of skyping someone, though jack had mentioned his ex wife he didn't say much else of the life he lead in america, Emma had asked a number of times for him to extend his visit but had always said he couldn't because of his commitments but would say what they were.
emma over heard his conversation ok she was ease dropping trying to get to see who he was talking to the way he spoke was with love she automatically thought he had a woman he loved waiting for him to get back she tried to leave but he spotted her so she went back to  the kitchen and pretended to un pack the bags of food she brought.
He later tells an angry Emma that he was speaking to his daughter who his ex didn't tell him existed till she was 7 shes 10 now she gave her to her sister and brother in law and only told him she had her because she wanted money.
he managed rebuild a relationship with his daughter talking so fondly and lovingly about her it all started to make sense to Emma now why he was so reluctant to settle down why he couldn't stay and be with her.

They wet for a walk on the beach he never let her hand go until they walked up the slippery steps as she walked behind him she slipped bruising her bum he wanted to see the damage but she wasn't having it, he told her to have a shower to help with the bruising and so she could see the damage her self with out him having a peek. all she could think of was jack whilst in the shower she used his shower gel that smelt of him. coming out he asked how it looked so as he was so interested she finally gave in pulling just a little bit of her jeans down and her top up showing just a little of her hip he slowly brought her jeans and the top of her lace underwear down Emma not stopping him he moved his hands softly over her bruise and around her hip turning her to face him. this was a moment they had both been waiting for he kissed her neck then her lips but they he came to a steady stop the heat was cooling down and he said he couldn't do it he couldn't make love to her knowing he was leaving not just for emma but for him self too.

emma drove away crying and hurt she got half way down the road in the pouring down rain and realised shes not letting him go she has to tell him how she feels, as she drove down his drive she could see him in his car he was on his way to find her neither of them wanted to let each other go they ran into each others arms and went into the house and made love all night.
in the moring needing food before they started all over again jack said they can make it work coming back every 3 months but he could see emma didn't want a long distance thing but she could go with him as she had her mother to think of but they were determined to make it work.
they started to get intmate on the kitchen table when they were interrupted it was Richard emmas mother had gone missing and he needed to find her so Caro told him where she would be, he was crushed to seethe woman he loved with the guy that saved her life and now taken her heart away from him.
Emma's mum had gone missing again the police starting a search party in the woods were she liked to walk. since she had Alzheimer's she could be anywhere, they all went off in search thankfully she was found she had gone in search of Emma's engagement ring the one she threw away thinking it would make Emma happy but it just broke her heart that he mum went missing for her. seeing Emma was with her family and Richard jack left and didn't phone which frustrated Emma leaving him message after message getting nothing in return. Richard and Emma had fallen asleep on separate sofas when jack knocked on the door early the next morning Richard made it out they had slept together which angered Emma even more.
With only having a few days left till he went back to America jack was going To be in London for a couple nights with Emma joining him until the insistent with her mother she could no longer go jack left and she new she would never see him again from the look he gave her when he saw Richard there he must of  believed what he over heard Caro said that she slept with jack to get Richard jealous which couldn't be further from the truth. Caro just said that as she thought it was an infatuation not love and thought if Emma slept with him she would be on exclude footing to Richard cheating and then she would be able to love Richard again but her heart wasn't with  Richard it was with jack.

Everyone in her life loved Richard after reading a letter Amy's mother gave her  a few weeks earlier new it wasn't a planned thing between her best friend and fiance Amy was in love with Richard and for Richard it was a moment of madness he wouldn't never be able to make right.
she went to Amy's grave and made her peace with her she loved her and always would
with everything that happened Richard proposed one last time, Emma was driving I her car knocking of the front door of the man she loved who wouldn't it be Richard who everyone in her life bar Monique loved or the stranger that saved her life and was leaving in a few days.
I was so happy when she pick Jack he was meant for him and she for him its strange how a random and cruel accident can bring the two most perfect people for each other together I guess it was fate.

Emma told Jack Richard proposed but he was the guy for her she loved him, that now her mother had the right care she wanted to leave with him and go to the states. Jack new she couldn't be apart from her family so had bought the cottage they had spent their first night together in, he suggested they split their time between both homes, he gave her a ring not an engagement but a ring to say one day we will he wanted to wake up every morning with her though he was scared of commitment before he wasn't with her she was the one he had been looking for but never thought he would find.

At the beginning of every other chapter there's a Minnie story I thought it was leading to Emma and Jacks wedding but no it was forty years ahead and it was Jacks funeral she was getting ready for Jack was 76 Emma 67  they had so many beautiful years together 2 sons 1 daughter and many adventures. Jack was always the one who never wanted commitment but over the years the happy years they spent together he proposed 12 times every time Emma saying this wasn't the right moment and try again. they never did get married the roles reversed Emma new they were always going to be together so what was the point in a piece of paper their anniversary was the date he gave her a non engagement ring. the night that they met when he was saving her life he said as they were climbing up the embankment don't worry I'm right behind you it was poignant for those to be Emma's final words Emma's final words are "our story isn't over yet, I'll be right behind you."


This book pulled at my heart strings, I was hoping and praying Emma would pick Jack and not Richard because we all do things to make others happy instead of our selves when we should do what makes us happy after all we only have one life. it would be amazing to find my guy that I will spend 40 years creating memories having adventures with growing more in love as each day passes.
its such a beautiful read I didn't want it to end and say goodbye to the characters.

Thursday, 9 April 2015

OOTD



Newlook

Jeans £19.99
Fringe kimono on sale £4
Boots £24.99

Matalan
Cami £6

H&M

Bag £19.99
Jacket £24.99
Sunglasses £4.99

Life Through A Camera Lens




This is an example of a piece with texture. The grainy, spotty quality of the camera image and the smooth, sharp, linear text contrast with each other. The camera image appears rough alongside the text and smooth border.




There's a new generation of youtubers and vloggers putting every aspect of their life out for the world to see, its a new phenomenon it wasn't around when I was growing up in the 90's, no one knows where its going to go and your opening yourself for everyone to judge and criticise you and some times bully you.

It has only been in the last year that I have started to watch beauty and travel vloggers at first it thought its a cool new media to get yourself out there but having watched them over the last year what started has off as a hobby for them has turned into a career which has also brought some down sides to their lives.

They had a passion for it when they were doing it as a hobby though I'm sure they are still enjoying doing it still, now they have a responsibility to their viewers as they grow to put out new and exciting videos on a regular basis.
Some have been struggling with the popularity of their channels growing it brought pressures and stress along with putting  new content up.
I have seen a few of the youtubers crumble breaking down on their channels with not knowing how to cope with the success.

There are two aspects of this media I'm not to sure of the first being how they can make it into a long time career myself being in my late 20's I cant see how they can make it into a longevity career with them only being in their late teens early 20's yes they are making money out of merchandising books etc but that will only last so long what will they be doing in 5years time? as quickly as this media has brought fame this new media can change Just as fast.
The digital media  is ever changing and as quickly as their new career has happened it can as quickly end and  do they have a back up plan?

Though they have gained skills editing filming, lightening, marketing skills they can use in other jobs do they have a plan if it ends tomorrow as we are always told have a fall back plan but many left college to continue their then hobby that just happened to turn in to a career.

Seeing young people like themselves making big money their views are starting to make videos themselves, wanting that fame the youtubers are getting seeing them be successful they want that but only a few have made it big and making good money out of this new media.

Secondly these young people are putting their lives out there every aspects they are an open book, though they don't film every second of their day, its 20 minutes of 24 hours they are putting so much of them selves out there. they are on twitter, youtube every social media outlet to get people interested in their lives, so they watch their videos because after all they are being paid for by how many views they get. Because of this they put so much of their personal lives out into the world they don't keep much of them selves private.

I was watching a vlog the other day it was someone birthday they were singing happy birthday and all had their cameras filming it, I thought to myself are you really enjoying that moment when you have your camera out, like when you go to a concert your to busy filming the act and missing the moments and experience of seeing an amazing band play your seeing it through a lens instead of being present in that moment.

A camera can capture a moment but not the feeling in that moment so always be present in each moment as possible they will last forever in your heart.

Try to keep some things to yourself keep some of your life just yours once you put things out for the world to see you cant take it back so if you don't want your future grandchildren to see it don't post it:)

Peanut xx

Sunday, 1 March 2015

My Favourites

Favourite Quote

 
I really love this quote we are waiting for some much but forgetting to live in the moment that we have right now. stop waiting and live for now enjoy the moment your in those are the moments you will remember.

Favourite Flower


It is Saint David's day in Wales, UK and this is the national flower they are beautiful vibrant and are a sigh that spring is on its way :)

favourite Thing I Want



I'm such a nature girl i love being in the out doors with nothing but hearing birds and nature all around of me. i would love this bath in a country cottage laying there looking at the stars there is nothing better i want one of these one day.

Favourite inspiration



I have been trying to get into shape be strong and have a healthy body Candice Swanepoel has been my inspiration she has a beautiful healthy body though I will never have her proportions I want that lean frame.

Favourite Food

 
 
On the healthy note my favourite desert has been apple, grapes, blueberry snack bites and yogurt its so fresh light and gives me that sweet taste I crave at the end of the day it gives me my natural sugar fix.
 
Peanut xx

Favourite song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUfh5mbjjrw