It's my birthday and I'll cry if i want to

Being a child I loved my birthday just like any normal kid presents, cake what's not to love until the dreaded double digit birthday. As soon as I hit 10 I hated the fact I was getting older, I would cry most years when family and friends would sing happy birthday partly because I hated the attention but mostly because I hated getting  another year older (I have peter pan syndrome).

Like most no matter how old I get with each year I still feel like a teenager even now just turning 28 years old, but my mind set has slightly changed though I don't love getting older losing a few childhood friends has made me see my birthday and ageing in a different way.

When you lose someone you no know matter who parent, grandparent friend or how close you were you see life in a different way, it was a shock losing friends who I have known since I was 4 years old you realise life is short you don't no what's around the corner.

 Where as before I would hate getting another year older now I am feeling it is a privilege to be making another year that my friends never got to see. It makes me sad they never reached the age I am each year I wonder what they would be doing, the people they would be becoming  so as I turn another year older I smile that I am still here seeing another beautiful sunset, laughing with friends and family and achieving my dreams but taking a minute to think of those who I have lost along the way but still keep in my heart being grateful for every moment that life gives me.

 Though I still have a peter pan complex I will no longer cry for getting older, but smile that I'm still here to enjoy the day with those who I love.